In today’s world, news headlines and current events can often be overwhelming and unsettling, especially for children. Even though they may not be able to tell you how they feel, or you may not think they understand what is going on, kids—even infants—can sense when something is wrong, off, or not quite right. We explained this in our last blog—read it here.
If your child has experienced trauma, whether directly firsthand or by witnessing it through the news, we’ve talked with our Lead Trainer at The Knowledge Center at Chaddock, Kirsty Ruggles, MS, about how to properly work with them through the emotions they may feel from that experience. Kirsty has over a decade of experience working at Chaddock having served children and families both directly and throughout the trainings she delivers to child-serving professionals.
It starts with you.
Kirsty says, “The most important thing to remember, when it comes to a child’s ability to be resilient in the face of trauma is the presence of a calm, emotionally responsive adult who they have a positive relationship with.”
If a child can be regulated, calmed, and can process the events with this responsive caregiver, they are more likely to be able to be resilient, and the trauma is less likely to have an impact.
This means that as adults and caregivers, we have to be cognizant of how we are conducting ourselves around our children, even very young ones. Kirsty also emphasizes being mindful of the types of images, tones, and content being played on the TV around your children.
Helping Children of All Ages When Trauma Happens
Infants and Young Children: While young children don’t need an adult to explain the complexities of a violent situation to them, Kirsty says what they do need is an adult to regulate and soothe them. As the baby gets older, they may begin to exhibit outward behaviors in response to the feelings of stress after a traumatic event. They will need adults to help regulate them.
Older Children: An older child who already has good regulation skills will still need an adult’s support in managing their stress response system and any anxiety they may feel. They will also ask questions to help process what is happening. Kirsty says, “This is okay, and it’s important that we only tell them what they need to know to be safe and we tell them in a way that is aligned with their level of understanding.”
Here’s an example: If an 11-year-old asks, “Why were all the police at the store when we were there?” our response might be, “Wow, that was scary for me. Was it scary for you? There was somebody there who wanted to hurt us, and that’s not okay, so the police came to help them.”
Monitoring What Our Children See
In the digital age, managing a child’s exposure to news and social media updates can be challenging, but it’s essential for their well-being and mental health. Kirsty says, “My two biggest pieces of advice are TALK to your child in a way that is age-appropriate and honest, including only what they need to know, AND remember that you are their parent, you are not there to be their friend, you are there to keep them safe.”
You need to set boundaries, check what they are looking at online, and set firm limits and expectations to keep an eye on what your child is seeing and the stress they may feel from it. There are apps that can help monitor what your child is looking at and accessing online while maintaining an appropriate level of independence and privacy.
In today’s world, where children are often exposed to traumatic events and news, it is vital for caregivers to be a calm and emotionally responsive presence. By setting boundaries and having age-appropriate, honest conversations, you can help children process what they see and feel, ensuring they grow up feeling secure and supported.
