Updated: Jan 29
Have you ever taken a trip and forgot to pack something important? That is the analogy that one of our parent’s use when discussing raising Johnny (name has been changed to protect his identity). They liken it to being in boat in the middle of the ocean and not having anything you need to get back to shore.
Maria and her husband adopted Johnny from an orphanage in a foreign country when he was just 10 weeks old. Johnny is bi-racial and in his country (even in today’s world) that meant that he would be shunned. The littlest of babies were discriminated against by not being fed or having their diaper changed unless it was scheduled. Let alone rocking, soothing, and generally caring for a baby the way most would. Johnny was one of these babies until Maria and her husband adopted him.
As Johnny grew he struggled to form relationships and engage appropriately in a variety of settings. Maria spent many years not knowing why. She questioned her parenting often-rationalizing that she had raised Johnny since he was 10 weeks old-surely any responsibility for his struggles rested within their family.
Eleven years later Maria and her husband found Chaddock. “Raising Johnny has been like being alone in a boat in the middle of the ocean. If I would’ve known what the journey would be like, I would have packed.” Not only was Maria unprepared for her journey in parenting, she didn’t know there were many other children like her son suffering from the effects of trauma, or that there was help available.
Their family found Chaddock just a few short months ago. As with all of our families, there is a great deal of learning and work required to bring the healing they need. Maria dives into the work. She is reading the books, doing the parent assignments, and learning to engage with Johnny in new ways. Every tool she is learning now is one she wished she would’ve been able to “pack” at the beginning of her journey. But, thank God it is never too late. Maria shared, “Finding Chaddock is like coming to shore.”
From all of us at Chaddock, Welcome to shore!